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I like rough gay sex, do I need to get my head examined?
I am a bi, 23 yrs old college guy with a girlfriend. I get really turned on by masculine guys having rough, aggressive sex, I also enjoy watching a masculine guy getting raped. (though i dont enjoy physical violence or anything...). Regular gay porn does not turn me on. I don't really watch straight porn. I enjoy having sex with my girlfriend (which is just regular sex). Is there something wrong with me?

No, there is nothing wrong with you. Lots of people like rough sex. Lots of people are bi. Nothing to see here, move along..

Has anyone seen the film "Gay Sex In The 70s"?
Basically, it is a historical look at the gay lifestyle
in New York City betwen 1969-1981. The film is full of gay activists, film-makers, professors, and people who were part of the gay scene at that time. All very pro-gay in there protrayal of the times.

The thing that struck me was that these people were openly praising:
- the rampage drug use they were into
- the amount of sex they had with numberous strangers
- the violence that was experiences between gays
(extremely rough sex, stabbings in trailers full of men having sex, etc.)

Even when it came to discussing sexual diseases, these people had a laughing, dismissive "oh-so-what" attitude.

My questions are:
1 - How could these men think that by mixing (sex, drugs, violence) it wcould be a good thing?
2 - How has the gay community's mindset changed about drugs, promiscuity, and violence?
3 - Was the sexual "freedom without consequence" worth the damage that we have been experiencing for the past 30 years?

First off, Joseph sucks. I am gay and recognize few of those statistics among me or my friends. I thought we dropped the specious gay-pedophilia link long ago! And many of your sources are clearly biased.

To the questioner, I don't think the second response is way off. If it's mass stupidity, then why direct the questions to gay men? I think some of the practices are clearly human nature, as opposed to "gay nature," if such a thing exists.

But I'll give a stab at your questions based on my experience as a gay man who has lived in NYC for 8 years (though I temporarily moved out).

1. Mixing those things is often what people who are depressed do. Why are so many gay men depressed (I'll give Joseph a nod to his statistic on that one)? It's not because of how we are, but rather because of how people are with us. When we are told from our guyhood that the deepest, most truthful, honest way we connect to people is inherently "wrong" or "evil," it effects how we develop. We tend to extrapolate from ourselves that "we are bad" and sometimes sex, drugs, etc. help dull the pain. Is it a "good" thing? Likely not, but when (and this was often true in the 1970s) your family would kick you out, you could lose your job, and other awful things for being gay, lots of sex or drugs sometimes would seem like the "least bad" of bad options. And if you've lost everything already (family, friends, job), that might where the "oh who cares" attitude comes from. Some people hit rock bottom.

2. Drugs? None of my gay friends takes drugs. I have few friends who smoke tobacco. I only know a few gay guys who have tried harder drugs, but none of my friends is an addict. I have never tried any hard drug like cocaine, heroin, etc. The worst I see among gays is alcohol abuse. Again, that seems to be across the board in all communities, so I'm not sure it can be attributed to any particular phenomenon in the gay world. Again, the alcohol abuse might be there to take some of the edge off depression, perhaps for the reasons I mentioned above.
Promiscuity? - Well, I think gay men are more promiscuous NOT because they are gay, but because they are men. Without a girl (who is usually the partner who puts a brake on initiating sex too soon) guys just have more sex. *Most* gay men I know, though, even when being promiscuous, use protection, so it's not as bad as it could be.
Violence? - Honestly, I never heard of such a thing. In about 10 years of going to gay bars, I have NEVER seen a fight break out. I go to straight bars once in a while, and I have seen a fight break out between straight guys somewhat regularly (in straight bars all over the world). I even spoke to a straight bouncer working at a gay bar once and he said he prefers working at gay bars in NYC because there are "never fights." Of all my gay friends, I have only one who has been in a physically abusive relationship.

3. What damage? Are you referring to AIDS? Well, the gay community got together in the 1980s to add responsibility to its sexual practices. Therefore, in the early 1980s, 90% of HIV+ patients were gay men, today it's 50% and still dropping. Again, too much, but it appears that other groups that are not gay but are high risk could benefit in seeing how gays came together to combat the virus' spread in the community. And I want to remind you, gay men didn't initially spread the disease, it was just first *identified* in gay men. In the industrialized world, gay men continue to be at high risk for HIV. However, around the world where the vast majority of HIV exists in poor countries, it is straight people who are mostly at risk.

I would look at those dates as somewhat telling. 1969 was when Stonewall happened, meaning it was the birth of the gay rights movement. For the next 12 years, there were small gay ghettos in NYC where (in my opinion) that "carefree love" existed because it "could." Come 1981, and HIV is identified, and the gay community really made some foundational changes. Hence you seeing a certain slice of gay life in a particular time that no longer exists.

Hope this helps.

Do gay men generally prefer rough sex outdoors or vanilla sex in cozy condos?
Please explain in details otherwise my question has no value and I will feel like a human waste bucket full of wrinkled and thrown away papers and paper coffee cups with caffeine residue and faint lipstick smudgies.

I prefer both of them.
Greetings:Rob.xxx

Could you imagine how liberals would react if the GOP passed a fed amendment to ban gay marraige?
Id pay top dollar just to see the reaction..Id imagine them stripping off all thier clothes and immediately start having rough, torrid gay sex in the public square in front of everyone out of protest..lol

you have quite the imagination--the central theme of which is watching live gay sex. If you are against gay marriage, then don't marry one.

Honestly, how many guys on the gay scene just want sex, sex and more sex? A rough percentage.?
I'm 18 so pretty soon I'm going to start going out on the gay scene. I haven't been to a gay bar or anything before so it'll all be new to me! But I always here these stories and rumours of guys just wanting sex in the bathroom of the club or whatever. I'm the kind of guy that isn't really going to want to have sex until I'm with someone that I know I'll trust and cares about me rather than someone that just wants to get their bit. (By the way I feel like I should mention that I'm from Ireland so I'll be going out in Dublin). So do many guys just want sex?

That's a tough question to answer. You could be in a club or area where 100% of the guys there are interested in sex only. You could be in a club or situation where 100% of the guys are only interested in finding a meaningful relationship before having sex. And there are averages all over the charts inbetween those two extremes. I know I didn't and couldn't give you a factual percent because I don't think it exists...always varying and changing. Yes, there are guys you'll run into who want sex and if you give off signs to them, you'll both get to have sex. But there are guys you'll run into who would rather keep sex out of the equation until it means something.

Good luck and congratulations of having morals and the will to maintain them.

Serious Question: Does anyone else think Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is just like having gay sex?
I'm gay, and I'm known for having really rough sex. Before Jiu Jitsu, I used to swim a lot to have a great endurance and stamina, but I was only doing regular standard sexual moves and positions.

I started Jiu Jitsu 7 months ago, and I got my Blue Belt last month ago, Jiu Jitsu came very natural to me. Many guys at my dojo have been taking classes for over 2 years, and still haven't earned their Blue Belt.

Gay sex after earning my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Blue Belt is AWESOME !! I've incorporated some Jiu Jitsu moves into my sex routine such as Trap and Roll, Positional Control Mount, Elevator Sweep, Elbow Escape, Double Underhook Pass, and others.

Usually I wrestle with guys who are very good, but sometimes they can't get me into a submission, and I can't get them to submit. Sometimes we can wrestle non-stop for 15 min until the instructor tells us to stop. We usually both end up drenched in sweat, really tired.

This is not really that different than one of my weekends!!!!

I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, it has made my sex life so much more interesting.

Does anyone else think Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is just like having sex?

I almost choked when I read that. I wouldn't know, as I'm a girl and not a gay boy. But I have a feeling your just bragging. But, while thats all lovely, and I know a guy's urge to brag about it, whether they're gay or not, but please, don't put things like this into much detail. I'm still laughing/choking.

My anus still hurts a week after gay sex, is this normal?
Well I was having anal sex with this guy who said he was clean and tested. It's been a week and my anus really really hurts still, it almost feels like a knife when I use the bathroom and when I contract my anus it feels like it's been cut. He was quite hung actually and we used lube but he was rough and rough with his fingers when loosening me up. Is something wrong because I'm freaking out...

Remain Calm....you need to seek medical care at a doctor. It is not necessary to explain all the details, just say that you had some sex while you were drunk and now am experiencing pain. You can go to the emergency room, or just to a general practitioner, but you need an exam to ensure that all is well. You probably have a small rip or muscle tear or maybe just an irritated place, but this will be a learning curve for you. Please be careful and use condoms, also try not to freak out. Good Luck

First gay sex last night?
had gay sex for the first time a last night. with my step-brother? i know ewwww!!! but anyways he was kinda rough! an it hurt! after we wer done i notice that i was bleeding from my backside..i know a girl bleed's for the first time but can a guy? is that normal or not? i'm scared cause we didnt use a CONDOM?

P.S i knew him before my father married his mom! an that was our both first time!

The first time can hurt and make you bleed, but that should tell you you need more lube. But I would not suggest that you continue your sexual relationship with your step brother. And always, always wear a condom.

No Haters, Serious Question: Does anyone else think Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is just like having sex?
Please NO haters!

I'm gay, and I'm known for having really rough sex. Before Jiu Jitsu, I used to swim a lot to have a great endurance and stamina, but I was only doing regular standard sexual moves and positions.

I started Jiu Jitsu 7 months ago, and I got my Blue Belt last month ago, Jiu Jitsu came very natural to me. Many guys at my dojo have been taking classes for over 2 years, and still haven't earned their Blue Belt.

Gay sex after earning my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Blue Belt is AWESOME !! I've incorporated some Jiu Jitsu moves into my sex routine such as Trap and Roll, Positional Control Mount, Elevator Sweep, Elbow Escape, Double Underhook Pass, and others.

Usually I wrestle with guys who are very good, but sometimes they can't get me into a submission, and I can't get them to submit. Sometimes we can wrestle non-stop for 15 min until the instructor tells us to stop. We usually both end up drenched in sweat, really tired.

This is not really that different than one of my weekends!!!!

I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, it has made my sex life so much more interesting.

Does anyone else think Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is just like having sex?

Well the triangle is pretty much like oral sex and a rear naked is like anal but no. Also please don't go online and say you love rough sex because no one wants to know. Also no i'm not gay for the ****** about to call me and the guy asking the question a queer cause there douchebags with no life.